A Puzzle, Prize, and Betty Update

It’s 11:40 p.m. Friday night as I write this and I’m aiming to post it in 20 minutes, so let’s all anticipate some clever, carefully written humorous prose next week.

Betty celebrates her 80th birthday with her Elvis sunglasses after discovering that she was being taken to Memphis. WITH The Naked Cake

Do you think Betty, 87, who caught Covid and took Paxlovid 8 days ago, passed yesterday:

a) reasonably comfortable in bed rest

b) going around Costco (and the knitting store) to get her new red glasses with progressive lenses because it was a bona fide emergency due to the fact that if she didn’t have her glasses today , she wouldn’t know if she could get used to them before the wedding in November, then she might not be able to wear them.

You are right. You’ve never met a woman more passionate about Costco and eyewear than Betty.

No. Not my wedding, by the way.

My mother has always had a more active social life than me. She goes on vacation several times a year, has dinner or lunch with friends, walks with the neighbors a few times a week… .

When she’s not socializing, she complains about socializing. She doesn’t want to go out. She just wants some time to stay home and relax.

She always wants to be a little sick so that she can fully enjoy the relaxation situation without any of the Bertelsen guilt associated with doing nothing.

A little sick means she can settle on the couch or in bed with the TV on, her iPad, a hot cup of Neo Citron, Ovaltine or another revolting drink, a variety of pills tucked alongside of her, happily refusing any and all invitations.

(Except the ones from former CNN commentator Jeffrey Toobin, because he’s a cuddly hunk. Betty once told me that if she was younger and lived in New York, she’d find out what bar Jeffrey Toobin was in would go, then she would go there. )

I should note that she quickly changed her fantasy man after Toobin was caught with his eyes rolling in the back of his head during a ZOOM call.

It’s the kind of quiet, guilt-free relaxation she’s been looking forward to but can never quite achieve.

I well remember a Christmas 13 years ago. Betty was sitting on the couch in the middle of Yuletide MAYHEM and she didn’t say to anyone in particular: “I just wanted a quiet, pleasant Christmas.

She made the statement about 15 minutes after walking down the stairs holding a shotgun asking how she could tell if it was loaded. Also, to no one in particular.

She wants to be the person who is relaxed, lying in the house, doing nothing and going nowhere, but she is not that person.

So when the possible opportunity to get sick comes, she looks forward to it like the arrival of the sun.

When she had Covid 8 days ago, Betty hoped it would be like this. Like his dream disease scenario. She is 87 years old. This was not the case.

But, like I said, she’s now well enough to go to Costco. But still sick enough to be exhausted the next day.

And me? I’m glad you asked. I am very good.

This is a cute little organic shaped bud vase that I came across on Etsy this week while working on this year’s Christmas gift list. Yes. I’m already working on it.

Speaking of which, there are only 10 days left until The Christmas Pledge!

Do this week’s puzzle to find out who I’m giving this vase to.


Have a good Saturday,

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